Hello etymology my old friend…
Science is not immune to the ever shifting nature of language says Russ Swan. That being the case, time to have some fun with some laboratory staples…
Science is not immune to the ever shifting nature of language says Russ Swan. That being the case, time to have some fun with some laboratory staples…
A snowflake is bound to melt in the heat of gaslight. Until recently, that would have been a simple and logical, if fairly pointless, observation on phase transition in winter precipitation. Today, it is layered with hidden meaning due to the ever-changing definitions of words. A snowflake is not just a unit of frozen rain, but is also a derogatory term for young adults who, according to certain sections of society, lack emotional robustness and take offence too easily. They had it tough in the old days, those old fogeys, and they’ll never stop telling you about it.
But that telling may, in fact, be nothing but gaslighting. This term, borrowed from a 1944 Ingrid Bergman film, refers to the systematic rewriting of truth through persistent denial, misdirection, contradiction, and plain old lying. You might have noticed a bit of this going on recently, and it is surely no coincidence that in British slang a trump is a release of flatulence, or gas. Language is an evolving thing, and a steady supply of new definitions for old words means that it can be hard to keep up. This is as true in science as it is in politics, and with that in mind we have collected a few helpful neologisms for your edification:
Aerobic [e__r__b_k] all set for the conference, with a chocolate bar and a spare pen
Anode [_æn__d] a sort of poem
Antigen [_ænt___n] Uncle Pete’s wife
Assay [__se_] one-third of an introduction to a science joke: “Assay, assay, assay…”
Bohr model [Bohr _m_dl] scale replica of a male pig
Boyle’s law [b__lz l__] that rule about watching kettles
Bumping [_b_mp__] playing the triangle with your posterior
Catalyst [_kæt_l_st] inventory of felines
Cell [s_l] plate dealing in crockery
Colloids [_k_l__dz] on the phone to the bank
Cuvette [kju__v_t] pigeon doctor
Dielectric [_da___l_ktr_k] the last chair the prisoner sat in
Density [_d_ns_ti] large town for dragons
Dipole [_da__p__l] stick used when applying stain
DNA [di_-_n-e_] Glaswegian asking a question
Ecology [__k_l__i] scientific study of screams
Electron [__l_ktr_n] bring back President Reagan
Endosperm [__nd__sp__m] vasectomy
Farad [_fær_d] marketing message in the distance
Genome [__i_n__m] wow, a garden ornament
Halogen [_hæl___n] what Uncle Pete says when he comes home
Hertz [h__ts] where’s the aspirin?
Impedance [_m_pi_d_ns] when a sprite pulls some shapes
Joule [_u_l] pistols at dawn
Lysis [_la_s_s] when a sibling gaslights
Microtome [_ma_kr_t__m] a very small very large book
Nanotechnology [_næn__t_k_n_l__i] when Granny won’t go online
Neuron [_nj__r_n] reanimated President Reagan
Ohm [__m] where the art is
Parameter [p__ræm_t_] measuring device that jumps out of aircraft
Pathogen [_pæ_____n] route taken by Uncle Pete’s wife
Pathology [p____l__i] scientific study of rights of way
Pathological [_pæ___l___k_l] the only sensible way forward
Peer review [p__ r__vju_] study of seaside structures
Pollination [_p_l__ne___n] a country with lots of parrots
Serum [_s__r_m] what a pirate hopes to do when he enters a bar
Sublime [s__bla_m] preventing scurvy in submariners
T cell [ti_ s_l] a bit like a coffee cup
Titer [_t_t_] your lab coat after a big lunch
Triple point [_tr_pl p__nt] a fork
Russ Swan
So come on then - your turn! We want your best re-definition of a scientific term. Efforts on an email to phil.prime@laboratorynews.co.uk - the best will appear in the March issue and bag themselves a prize in the form of a clutch of cool science books.
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