Relax, Matthew Partridge hasn’t gone MAGA; his target’s lab chore dodgers.
Lab work is a collaborative effort. Almost all research labs are made up of a team of people all vying for space and resources and all working towards sometimes shared, sometimes separate research goals. Be it a team of two or a building of 200 researchers, there is always the need to work with and around others and find a way to balance space, resources and work between you all. A balance that is about mutual respect, understanding and finding passive aggressive ways to make people do their chores.
Now, lab chores come in many shapes and sizes: larger tasks such as cleaning down equipment, clearing out the freezer or stocktaking; smaller routine tests such as restocking consumables, emptying bins or resetting the ‘days since last accident’ counter.
In an ideal world, people would do their fair share of these chores.
As you may have noticed, this is not an ideal world. People don’t do their chores.
So the following four tips are for anyone that has had their work delayed by having to clean someone else’s dirty glassware, or has tried to start their experiment but has had to reassemble it from parts hidden in random places. Anyone getting their research held up by chore dodgers.
A balance that is about mutual respect, understanding and finding passive aggressive ways to make people do their chores
Build a wall of shame. If you see a sink piled with glassware or a box of lenses randomly thrown in a cupboard, then take a photograph of it and build a weekly wall of shame. If your lab is snazzy (or old enough to have a Polaroid), this makes for a great ever-changing art installation next to the lab door. Alternatively, incorporate the photos into your weekly meetings with slide titles such as ‘Reasons my work was slowed down this week’ or ‘Signs that you might be a lazy jerk’.
Chore bins. This slightly depends on the chore but find some large boxes (one for each lab member). If you find old experiments, discarded rubbish, unwashed glassware, just add it to the offending researcher’s boxes. These are great visual aids for ensuring that everyone is aware of who is currently the worst offender, they are also a great way of clearing space. The downside is that a more unscrupulous chore dodger might see it as an easy way to keep some lab equipment all for themselves.
Passive-aggressive Post-it notes. If you want something that is more workspace specific and helps to highlight problem areas, then Post-it notes are for you. Any time you need to go and find some equipment that’s been left in the wrong place, simple write a little note to leave in its place. Something simple like “I put away the rotary mixer” or “In memoriam of the great 2024 dirty glassware pile” and always the simple “I took this”. Soon repeat offenders will find their world filled with Post-it notes helping to highlight the issue to those around them.
Lastly, the tip that is the hardest: Sighing and trying to have some patience. We’re all busy researchers with busy deadlines and not every missed chore is from a lazy chore dodger, just a tired, overworked colleague. So often the best tip is to help out and sort it yourself and hope that when deadlines are against you someone else will do the same for you, in the spirit of collaboration.
Dr Matthew Partridge is a researcher, cartoonist and writer who runs the outreach blog errantscience.com and is editor of our sister title, Lab Horizons
